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- Q: What have Gareth gates and Harold Shipman got in common?
A: Neither of them can finish a sentence.
Shipman‘s last meal was a curry. When asked afterwards if he enjoyed it, he replied that it was OK but he could‘ve murdered a nan.
They are going to make a film about Harold Shipman starring Robert De Niro. Title: The Old Dear Hunter.
Harold Shipman‘s suicide note has been found. It reads – “I can‘t go on. I‘ve run out of patience.“
The prison warden where Shipman was ‘staying‘ commented that he will be sorely missed, especially by the prison boxing club. He said: “He had a lethal jab“.
It‘s been said Harold Shipman was a bit of a lady killer, maybe thats got something to do with the fact that he‘s well hung!
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A truck driver picks up a woman hitch hiker on the side o the road.
He pulls over on the side of the road a few blocks down and the woman asks him what he is doing? He asks her if she wants to have sex? She says “I can‘t I‘m on my period.“
He says “That doesn‘t matter.“
So they get in the back of the cab and he is eating her out.
A police officer drives by and sees the truck rocking.
So he gets out and knocks on the door of the truck.
The truck driver opens the door and asks if he can help the officer.
The officer asks him what he is doing? He says liking his fingers “Eating Pizza!“
- A worker calls their boss one morning and tells him that
they are staying home because they are not feeling well.
“What‘s the matter?“ he asks
“I have a case of anal glaucoma,“ said in a weak voice.
“What the hell is anal glaucoma?“
“I can‘t see my ass coming into work today“ .
