A man, wearing only a bathrobe, bends over the Christmas tree to pick up a present.
His young son looks up the robe and asks, "Hey Dad! Who's getting the bagpipes?"
- I wonder what Christmas will be,
No merriment, good cheer or glee,
Now that Santa's arrested,
Because someone protested,
That he laid some doll under their tree.
- That wily old pervert St. Nick
Made good use of the curve to his dick.
He glazed the whole shaft
Painted stripes, then he laughed
As he offered young ladies a lick.
- If you see a fat man
who's jolly and cute
Wearing a beard
and a red flannel suit
And if he is chuckling
and laughing away
While flying around
In a miniature sleigh
With eight tiny reindeer
To pull him along
Then lets face it
Your eggnog's too strong!
Frosty the cokehead was a crazed neurotic soul,
With a big glass pipe and a vial of crack,
And no sense of self control.
There must have been some poison in that last dime bag he got,
For when he took his first big hit he dropped dead on the spot.
Frosty the cokehead doesn't worry anymore,
'Cuz when all is said, and your cold and dead,
Then you never have to score.