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Friday, March 27, 2009

Funny / Clean / Free Christian Jokes Humor

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  • Father Brian, an elderly Catholic priest, was speaking to Father Karl, a younger priest, saying, 'You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theatre seats. It worked like a charm. The front of the church always fills first now.'

    Father Karl nods, and the old priest continues, 'And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n' roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the rafters.'

    'Thank you, Father Brian,' answers the young priest. 'I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth.'

    'All of these ideas have been well and good,' comments Father Brian wisely. But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional.'

    'But, Father Brian,' protests the young Father Karl, 'My confessions have nearly doubled since I began that!'

    'Indeed,' replies the elderly priest, 'And I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, "Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell" cannot stay on the church roof.'

  • Darlene was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.

    From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, 'Grandpa, did God make you?'

    'Yes, darling,' he answered, 'God made me a long time ago.'

    'Oh,' Darlene paused, 'Grandpa, did God make me too?'

    'Yes, indeed, poppet,' he said, 'God made you just a little while ago.'

    Feeling their respective faces again, Darlene observed, 'God's getting better at it, isn't he?'

  • May I ask a question?' Ben asked.

    Of course, go ahead, ask your question,' replied the rabbi.

    'Well, the Bible says that the children of Israel crossed the Red Sea,' continued Ben, 'also that the children of Israel built the temple, the children of Israel did this and the children of Israel did that. Didn't the grown-ups ever do anything?'