Funny, Dirty, Yo mama, Blonde Jokes/Joke - Funny, Love, Free, Dirty SMS

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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Funny / Clean / Halloween Kids Jokes, Children Jokes and Humor

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  • three boys were bragging about their fathers.

    The first one said, “My father runs so fast he can fire an arrow, start running, and get there before the arrow!“

    The second one said, “That‘s nothing! My father can shoot a gun, start running, and get there before the bullet!“

    The third boy just smiled. “That‘s nothing. My father is a civil servant. He gets off work at 5 and is home before 4!“

  • A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders along a well-traveled stretch of highway. The location, at a bend in the road, allowed him to hide his car out of sight of oncoming traffic while setting up his radar to nab any speeders who passed by. He had used this location successfully a number of times, especially on holidays, and decided to use it again one Labor Day weekend.

    The officer arrived at his hiding place and set himself up, settling down to wait for the first speeders to appear. After a half hour or so the officer hadn‘t seen anybody speeding.

    In fact most of the cars that passed him were traveling exactly at the speed limit, and some of the passengers in the passing cars were even smiling and waving at him. He couldn‘t believe this was happening since his hiding place was so well concealed.

    Finally, after realizing that virtually all the passing cars knew he was there, the officer decided that something was wrong and went investigate.

    He got out of his car and walked up the road a short distance. About 100 yards before his hiding place the officer found the problem: A 10 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said: RADAR TRAP AHEAD.

    A little more investigative work led the officer to the boys accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading TIPS and a bucket at his feet full of change.

  • A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctors office.

    He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?“
    She replied, “Im having a baby.“

    With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?“
    She said, “He sure is.“

    Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?“
    She said, “Oh, yes. It‘s a real good baby.“

    With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked…
    “Then why did you eat him?“

  • A little boy was in a relative‘s wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride‘s side and groom‘s side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar loudly.

    So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

    As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the front. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, “I was just being the Ring Bear!“

  • A man is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy‘s efforts for some time, the man moves closer to the boy‘s position.

    He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child‘s shoulder, leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.

    Crouching down to the childs level, the man smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?“

    The boy replies, “Now we run!“