Teacher: What is the axis of the earth?
Student: The axis of the earth is an imaginary line which passes from one pole to the other, and on which the earth revolves.
Teacher: Very good. Now, could you hang clothes on that line?
Student: Yes, Sir.
Teacher: Indeed, and what sort of clothes?
Student: Imaginary clothes, Sir.
- Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!“
- In a classroom of third graders, the teacher says to the kids, “Today, class, we will be telling stories that have a moral to them.“ She explained what a moral to a story was and asked for volunteers. Little Suzie raises her hand.
Suzie: “ I live on a farm and we have a chicken that laid 12 eggs, we were excited to have 12 more chickens but only 6 of them hatched.“
Teacher: “That‘s a good story, now what is the moral?“
Suzie: “ Don‘t count your chickens before they are hatched.“
Teacher: “Very good Suzie, anyone else?“
Ralphie: “Yes teacher, I was carrying some eggs I bought for my mom in my bicycle basket one day and I crashed my bike and all the eggs broke.“
Teacher: “That‘s a nice story, what is the moral?“
Ralphie: “Don‘t put all your eggs in one basket.“
Teacher: “ Very good Ralphie, anyone else?“
Little Johnny: “ Yes teacher, my Aunt Karen is in the army and when she was in the Gulf War, she parachuted down with only a gun, 20 bullets, a knife, and a six-pack of beer. On her way down, she drank the six pack. When she landed, she shot 20 Iraqis and killed ten of them with her knife.“
Teacher: “Very interesting, Johnny, what is the moral to your story?“
Little Johnny: “Don‘t fool with Aunt Karen when she‘s drunk.“
A high school had a policy that the parents must call the school if a student was to be absent for the day.
Kelly (name changed to protect the guilty), deciding to skip school and go to the mall with her friends waited until her parents had left for work and called the school herself.
This is the actual conversation of the telephone call…
Kelly: “Hi, I‘m calling to report that Kelly so-and-so is unable to make it to school today because she is ill.
Secretary at high school: “Oh, I‘m sorry to hear that. I‘ll note her absence. Who is this calling?“
Kelly: “This is my mother.“
Needless to say, she didn‘t pull it off!
